I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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