5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
