I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
