Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Everclear isn't food dammit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
