Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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