OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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