so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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