Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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