That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
