she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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