remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
