But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
