dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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