i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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