This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize