I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize