She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
