Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she told me i tasted like america
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
