I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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