people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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