dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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