I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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