I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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