Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
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so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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