man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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