Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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