I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
