I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We are two peas in an std pod
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize