You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize