The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
