careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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