In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
