worst night to have a conscience
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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