we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
