Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
