I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
