Already got asked if we're dating
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
