She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize