saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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