you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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