We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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