Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
