the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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