On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
