her vagine was all disorganized.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
