I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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