where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize