Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
