he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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