Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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