Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on