what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
