I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
