I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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