I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
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There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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