dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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