I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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