So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
