better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
