So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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